[GC stands for Gratitude Challenge, which is something I've committed myself to doing once a week on this blog for this year. From here on out, all the entries in this challenge, which I will hopefully be able to post every Friday, will be titled with "GC" in the beginning.]
LOL
Of course this gratitude challenge would mock me by making this the first one. But, unlike the thirty-day challenge entry where I just basically wrote "LOL," nothing, and "Come back next time, maybe?" I will actually try and write something that makes sense here.
Will it actually though?
Without further ado, here are some words of gratitude I have to a person who doesn't exist.
Okay I messed up. Who doesn't exist *in my current/past life*, because I like to think he exists somewhere in this world that I am so keen on gallivanting around. Maybe I've even already met him. Does this post want my opinion? I think I'm obligated to give it my opinion if there is no concrete person I can be thankful for.
So here's who I will be referring to. While I don't believe in there only being "the one" (because I obviously like to have hoes in different area codes), I do want to believe that I will one day end up in a monogamous marriage with a fairy tale romance worthy of my adventure book life. I will then be referring to this man in the future, no matter how many other dudes I'll end up with before I settle–no wait I don't like that word–ultimately choose him to be my crazy travels companion. For the rest of our lives. I'd like to think that kind of love still exists in this world. (I know I'm capable of feeling it; I mean, Polish is an insanely difficult language, yet purely out of love for Poland and certain people I continue wanting to learn it, despite all the mistakes I make trying to learn it, despite all its seemingly arbitrary rules, despite everything that's making it a complicated language to learn. Even if it makes me want to pull out my hair sometimes. I digress.)
(Wait, is this gonna be read at my wedding?)
Anyway, thank you for waiting forever to come into my life. No seriously, for. Ev. Er.
(Hm, where in the world are you? Like, I'm curious within what country's borders you are at this moment.)
All this doubt and worry that I wasn't fulfilling some societal expectation has at times taken a toll on me, but I know that I wouldn't trade those grievances for a thing once I find myself with you at last. It'd be stupid to say you were worth the wait, because I'm not technically waiting for you. While you don't yet exist in my life, it's giving me a chance to really become an actual person. To figure out who I am without worrying about some other person's bullshit and problems, just dealing with my own. To live, and explore this world, its fascinating people, and not worry about what I am to just one other person because what only really matters is who I am to myself, and knowing I can rely on myself no matter what kind of situation I find myself in. So yeah, suck it, you're spending the rest of your life with an independent bitch who doesn't need you.
She does want you, though.
And that's the thing. No matter how many times some dude is gonna "break my heart," I know I'll have the self confidence and self worth to pick myself up again, because it's what's been developing in me throughout these past few years, through the experiences I've lived and challenges I've faced. I've learned to never need a boy to feel like I'm an amazing person. I admit that may be naïve in saying that, but whatever I don't care. What I really mean to say is no boy is going to be able to break my heart to the same extent it was shattered that time I almost went to India because THAT SUCKED.
Okay, back to "she wants you." Uhhhh. I mean, I'll probably have told you time and again that I keep you in my life because you make me genuinely happy, and you complement (rather than complete) me, and you make my story even more fun to write. Not that I need you to make my story interesting. It already is without you, tbh.
So, um, yeah.
Here I am, pretty self satisfied and excited at the direction my life is going, and here you are, not here. That doesn't really bother me. You'll show up in due time, probably when I'm not expecting it.
I guess this letter has kinda been a "thank you for not being in my life right now" kinda deal. But if this is being read at my wedding, I feel like a bit more ought to be said.
Thank you for being you, mysterious man who doesn't yet currently exist, because if I've fallen in love with you in particular, that means you're a very special person. You probably look at the world with the same hunger to discover it that I do, with the same desire to get to know others different than you and learn their languages. You probably have a story you're proud of and have lived a life that awes even me. You're probably super sincere, kind, funny, and know how to treat me how I deserve to be treated. Your culture/home country is probably one that I've fallen in love with as well, wherever that may be. I may have even learned your language just for you.
Of course there is always the possibility that my life is gonna continue the way it has been, with no guys whatsoever, with no fairy tale romance, with none of that corny stuff, and I die an old maid never having experienced "love." Throw me a bone here, though; it doesn't hurt to daydream. If daydreaming about living in France and studying at Harvard actually led me to accomplish these things, then maybe daydreaming about my hot (HAH! here you thought reading all this that looks didn't matter to me) perfect husband and our wedding on a beach in the Philippines will actually be feasible one day. If life randomly brought me back to Poland when I wasn't expecting it at all, and if life sent me to a certain South American country I once thought I'd never set foot on, then it might as well throw me a curve ball (with that bone I requested earlier please) and entangle my story with someone else's that's beyond my wildest dreams and imaginations.
But for now, I've got Polish declensions to study. Thanks, see ya, etc.
LOL
Of course this gratitude challenge would mock me by making this the first one. But, unlike the thirty-day challenge entry where I just basically wrote "LOL," nothing, and "Come back next time, maybe?" I will actually try and write something that makes sense here.
Without further ado, here are some words of gratitude I have to a person who doesn't exist.
Okay I messed up. Who doesn't exist *in my current/past life*, because I like to think he exists somewhere in this world that I am so keen on gallivanting around. Maybe I've even already met him. Does this post want my opinion? I think I'm obligated to give it my opinion if there is no concrete person I can be thankful for.
So here's who I will be referring to. While I don't believe in there only being "the one" (because I obviously like to have hoes in different area codes), I do want to believe that I will one day end up in a monogamous marriage with a fairy tale romance worthy of my adventure book life. I will then be referring to this man in the future, no matter how many other dudes I'll end up with before I settle–no wait I don't like that word–ultimately choose him to be my crazy travels companion. For the rest of our lives. I'd like to think that kind of love still exists in this world. (I know I'm capable of feeling it; I mean, Polish is an insanely difficult language, yet purely out of love for Poland and certain people I continue wanting to learn it, despite all the mistakes I make trying to learn it, despite all its seemingly arbitrary rules, despite everything that's making it a complicated language to learn. Even if it makes me want to pull out my hair sometimes. I digress.)
(Wait, is this gonna be read at my wedding?)
Anyway, thank you for waiting forever to come into my life. No seriously, for. Ev. Er.
(Hm, where in the world are you? Like, I'm curious within what country's borders you are at this moment.)
All this doubt and worry that I wasn't fulfilling some societal expectation has at times taken a toll on me, but I know that I wouldn't trade those grievances for a thing once I find myself with you at last. It'd be stupid to say you were worth the wait, because I'm not technically waiting for you. While you don't yet exist in my life, it's giving me a chance to really become an actual person. To figure out who I am without worrying about some other person's bullshit and problems, just dealing with my own. To live, and explore this world, its fascinating people, and not worry about what I am to just one other person because what only really matters is who I am to myself, and knowing I can rely on myself no matter what kind of situation I find myself in. So yeah, suck it, you're spending the rest of your life with an independent bitch who doesn't need you.
She does want you, though.
And that's the thing. No matter how many times some dude is gonna "break my heart," I know I'll have the self confidence and self worth to pick myself up again, because it's what's been developing in me throughout these past few years, through the experiences I've lived and challenges I've faced. I've learned to never need a boy to feel like I'm an amazing person. I admit that may be naïve in saying that, but whatever I don't care. What I really mean to say is no boy is going to be able to break my heart to the same extent it was shattered that time I almost went to India because THAT SUCKED.
Okay, back to "she wants you." Uhhhh. I mean, I'll probably have told you time and again that I keep you in my life because you make me genuinely happy, and you complement (rather than complete) me, and you make my story even more fun to write. Not that I need you to make my story interesting. It already is without you, tbh.
So, um, yeah.
Here I am, pretty self satisfied and excited at the direction my life is going, and here you are, not here. That doesn't really bother me. You'll show up in due time, probably when I'm not expecting it.
I guess this letter has kinda been a "thank you for not being in my life right now" kinda deal. But if this is being read at my wedding, I feel like a bit more ought to be said.
Thank you for being you, mysterious man who doesn't yet currently exist, because if I've fallen in love with you in particular, that means you're a very special person. You probably look at the world with the same hunger to discover it that I do, with the same desire to get to know others different than you and learn their languages. You probably have a story you're proud of and have lived a life that awes even me. You're probably super sincere, kind, funny, and know how to treat me how I deserve to be treated. Your culture/home country is probably one that I've fallen in love with as well, wherever that may be. I may have even learned your language just for you.
Of course there is always the possibility that my life is gonna continue the way it has been, with no guys whatsoever, with no fairy tale romance, with none of that corny stuff, and I die an old maid never having experienced "love." Throw me a bone here, though; it doesn't hurt to daydream. If daydreaming about living in France and studying at Harvard actually led me to accomplish these things, then maybe daydreaming about my hot (HAH! here you thought reading all this that looks didn't matter to me) perfect husband and our wedding on a beach in the Philippines will actually be feasible one day. If life randomly brought me back to Poland when I wasn't expecting it at all, and if life sent me to a certain South American country I once thought I'd never set foot on, then it might as well throw me a curve ball (with that bone I requested earlier please) and entangle my story with someone else's that's beyond my wildest dreams and imaginations.
But for now, I've got Polish declensions to study. Thanks, see ya, etc.
Comments
Post a Comment