This is so lonely. But if I'm doing reading or writing or language class homework by myself I don't feel this lonely at all. I'd feel better if I had someone to work with probably, and this might actually be fun and make me feel lots better about math, but that's what I get for taking a class that's pretty much all freshmen.
At least there's other people suffering like me. I mean I could get a tutor, but I don't really care about math and don't need it for the things I want to do in my life. I'd rather pay for bus tickets out of here. Is that bad? How much should I care about my GPA, anyway? The UNHCR guy at the career talk said they don't care about academic achievement as much as what you say in your cover letter, so hopefully other places I'd want to work at do too?
I see the appeal when I'm in class and my TF is teaching it. She's so good. She makes it all look so beautiful, and it's really cool to observe it all being done, but I just can't bring any motivation to my mind to do this myself.
Is it bad that I don't even really care about my grades in this class? Like, there's an extra credit opportunity to gain a few points, but I really. Just. Don't. Care.
Hopefully after this semester when I'm taking classes I'll be motivated to work hard on, even if I'll spend more time on the work, I'll get better grades too...
Is it crazy that I want to take classes in Polish, German, and French at the same time? I'll understand those better than all this limits business...
How can people spend so much time doing math?
Am I a useless human being if I suck at STEM subjects? Not even suck, but just don't have the will to do really well in them because I'd rather be examining the state of people in our world?
Damn, because I care so much about people I would have made a great doctor, but too bad I'm too lazy to pursue science any further. Lol sorry. (Why Harvard, why?)
Do we really only have two full weeks left of the semester, and then Thanksgiving break, and then like three days of school before reading period and exams start? YES THANK THE LAWD
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