Hm, so when I have beautiful half Filipino half something else children that I'll be raising in some big city in my swanky apartment, this is what I'm supposed to pass on to them? Fair enough.
I totally didn't steal half of this from Harvard's anthro promotional brochure. I admit that growing up, I had a very rigid idea of how life would proceed, especially for me. It was all a really linear process, especially living in the suburbs as a middle schooler seeing everyone around me do the same things growing up and all go through similar rites of passage, such as high school, getting a car, prom, college, etc. I also felt somewhat behind my peers at times, seeing how they all lived in nice, big houses and had dogs and whatnot, and I tried to hold on to the hope that one day, I would be living that kind of life too. I guess it's natural for someone who's just moved to a new country and only wants to fit in and not be viewed as an "other," which I'm sure I felt sometimes. Looking back on my first couple of years in the USA, I didn't want to identify at all with the other immigrant or 2nd generation immigrant students in my suburb who were primarily Latino. They didn't seem to want to aspire to adjust themselves to be more like the rich white kids, and were always hanging out together. Maybe I thought that was wrong. But reflecting on it all now (first of all, after having worked in the Mexican ice cream shop and learning Spanish, I can definitely relate to them more now than I can to the typical white, suburban American student), they were just doing what made sense to them. I had no right to judge. And what I would want to impart on my children from this experience is that they have to acknowledge that people live their lives the way they best see fit, and instead of judging them or resenting them, my children should see what they can learn from them. I'm sure the travels I'll take them on will teach them that without me having to share it with them verbally.
There is no one "right" way to live; appreciate the diversity of how people around you, near and far, find meaning in their lives.
Sometimes, the unexpected ends up being what's best, so you should be welcoming to it.
I can't begin to tell you how many serendipitous things have happened in my life that were completely random and out of the blue, but I ended up feeling were somehow meant to happen. I'm glad I keep a journal (and this blog!) so I have some kind of record of these things. I won't go into anything specific right here, but I would want my children to see and feel the beauty of what having faith in the unknown can do. It could take you to somewhere you never thought you would go, but you end up realizing where you were meant to be.
Believe in your dreams, and don't be afraid if they change.
This is something I've been coming to terms with this past semester, and a lesson I am still in the process of fully processing. But the point is, whenever it is I have children, I'll have already understood the full implications of this statement. I was always a big dreamer, and I did have some lofty goals for myself throughout this past decade that I ended up accomplishing. (Read here! And here!) Which is great and all, but then I had to come to terms with the possibility of what were previously long-term goals evolving into new ones, which was unsettling at times. The younger me could never have imagined it happening. Actually, I was even considering how to word this one: should it be "and don't be afraid if they change," or "but don't be afraid if they change?" I guess I settled on "and" because it implies that there is a high likelihood of them changing, whereas "but" would somehow imply that the prospect of them changing is one that one would react to with apprehension. Okay that's complicated semantic territory. I'll figure out the rest of this piece of advice later; I have time, anyway.
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