Untitled update

I've had a lot of thoughts swimming around my head this past >month I've been at Harvard. I think today is a good day to kind of put everything together and move forward, since I feel like today is a kind of turning point day.
The semester is more than a quarter of the way over (not sure how that happened but oh well). I've settled into a routine, I think. My state of mind has changed considerably from the beginning.
Before I get into that, here are my classes:

Linguistics 83 (Language, Structure, Cognition)
Introduction to African Languages and Cultures
Expos 20 - Cross-Cultural Contact Zones (a writing class)
Intermediate German

Strangely enough, all my classes complement each other very well. Although they pose me endless challenges (ungodly amount of reading for Africa class, I'm looking at you) (you too expos essays), I think I've picked a really good set for my first semester here. For the longest time, I've been set on being a pre-med student. Recently though I've realized how much I love learning about language and languages, and how much I love learning about other cultures. It could be that my collective experience from traveling, immigrating, and foreign exchange has culminated in this realization. Either way, I decided that now was the time to further explore these interests. Harvard has so, so much to offer. It gets kind of overwhelming. But I just march steadily on, often blindly without knowing the full implications of what I choose to do, like I have been doing. Things have turned out all right. Better than I could have anticipated, even. I find myself grateful a lot.
When the year first started out, and I was overloaded with homework and readings and extracurricular sign-ups, I admit I felt a bit discouraged. I didn't know how I would manage my time. Looking ahead at the syllabi intimidated me, and I wasn't sure how I'd be able to get everything done while still eating, sleeping, and spending time with friends. But for once, I told myself to not worry about the long-term and just focus on the present. It worked.
It was a rough start and I've hit the ground running, but now I'm truly enjoying myself. I think I'm also still in a state of shock that I'm actually here. I mean, I've dreamed of being a student in a place like this for soooo long that now that it's actually my reality, I have a hard time believing it and wonder sometimes whether or not I'm doing it right, if I'm living up to the hopes of the girl I was in the past.
You know what, the answer is yes.
Of course I still get lost and confused, of course I still doubt myself, but that's all a part of it. A challenging life is one that helps you grow, and I intend to be thoroughly challenged throughout my time here. But with the challenges come rewards. And facing challenges with me are some incredible people from all over the world that I just love. Honestly, I don't know where I'd be without the friends I've made here. Going out dancing, playing Mariokart on a giant TV, complaining about work, or just talking about life, I enjoy every second I spend with them. They're the highlight of my experience here.

K so what I said about today being a sort of turning point day. After the past month of being uncomfortably reflective, I've regained some footing. On a whim I decided to visit the Go Global Expo in a Marriott not too far from here (I like to take whatever excuse to go out of campus and change perspectives a bit). The keynote speaker was a guy who worked with Médecins Sans Frontières. It's been one of my goals to work as a surgeon for an organization like this, and listening to his stories from the field reaffirmed this. My goals have been kind of muddled lately as I lived in my adjustment state, but I'm glad to have heard that presentation today. As for the fair, there were different organizations set up at tables- from discounted plane tickets for students, to internships abroad. I collected an unrealistic amount of brochures, feeling really excited.
Shortly before I left, I overheard Tagalog being spoken. I listened in then approached them, asking if they were Filipino. One of the women replied, "No, we're German!"
(lol Filipinos)
She seemed particularly excited to meet a random girl speaking Tagalog and asked if I was a student. I said yes, I go to Harvard. A look of awe spread across her face as she told me, "Wow, you're so smart! Your parents must be so proud of you." I was happy to chat with her. I told her I'm from Cebu but moved to the USA in 2007, and now I'm here. It was a nice reminder of where I came from. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in how tough life can be here sometimes, but the occasional reminder always helps me feel a little bit more confident with myself.

It's safe to say that I have a better sense of place now. I do feel at home here, and while the syllabi still intimidate me somewhat, I know that as long as I keep on keeping on, I'll be just fine.

Also I'm going to New York City in 26 days.
Awwww yeah.    

Comments